Est. read time – 4-5 minutes.
Rhys Kershaw was a young boy with the world at his feet.
Bright, healthy and eloquent, he was a much-loved son to proud parents Trevor and Melanie and brother to Jared, Caitlyn and Tobias.
As a family, they loved nothing more than spending quality time together, enjoying scouting events, archery and being with friends.
Nothing, therefore, could prepare them for the nightmare which unfolded in November 2021 – the beginning of a journey that led to Rhys being diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
After numerous rounds of chemotherapy, his family were told the cancer was terminal, and they were referred to East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices (EACH). After six weeks together at The Nook and a brave and courageous fight, 12-year-old Rhys sadly died in July 2022.
“The staff were incredible and couldn’t have been more kind, understanding or patient,” said Melanie, who, like her husband, hails from South Africa but has been living in Norwich for 22 years.
“I can’t imagine that month of our lives without EACH.
“It would have been so much harder, and more stressful, in hospital or at home.
“Rhys was looked after so well and had the care and support he needed, which meant we were able to spend time with our other children.
“After the best part of eight months in hospital, that meant the world because we were finally back together, as a family.
“I can’t begin to describe how it felt and will never forget our first night at the hospice.
“Despite all that was going on, there was almost a sense of relief, and because it was so quiet, compared to the constant noise of hospital machinery, I slept like a log. It’s because I knew we were together and safe.”
Rhys’ initial diagnosis had come as a bolt from the blue.
One day, he complained of discomfort in his groin, and, when the area was touched, he was left in excruciating pain.
His parents took him to hospital, and, at first, the problem was diagnosed as suspected appendicitis.
An ultrasound revealed a growth, and then, after a CT scan, Rhys’ family were told it was ‘very likely’ to be cancer. This was confirmed after a biopsy, and he spent the next five weeks at Addenbrooke’s Hospital, in Cambridge.
Rhys was discharged on Christmas Eve, meaning the family could spend Christmas together back home in Norwich.
“In felt amazing to be at home again, because for so long we didn’t think that was a possibility. It was exactly what we needed, as a family,” said Melanie.
“However, I found it emotionally draining, trying to carry on as normal for the sake of the children while overwhelmed with fear and worry for what lay ahead.
“We went back to hospital for the next round of chemo on New Year’s Eve, and Rhys’ treatment came to an end in the February.
“We were given the amazing news there were no more active cancer cells in March 2022, and he proudly rang a bell to celebrate that milestone just before Easter.”
Sadly and cruelly, Rhys then relapsed and that meant two more rounds of chemotherapy.
An MRI scan then confirmed the cancer was not responding to the treatment. It was back, but this time even more aggressive.
On 10th June, Rhys and his family were told it was terminal, and, six days later, they moved into The Nook.
“It was horrendous, and we were told he only had days, rather than weeks, left with us,” said Melanie, 48.
“As it turns out, he survived another six weeks, although he went rapidly downhill after the first fortnight. By that point, you could physically see the cancer moving around his body. It was horrific.
“One of my favourite memories of our time at the hospice was being able to wheel Rhys outside, into the sunshine. The staff brought a barbecue to us, and I was able to cook him steak, which made him happy.
“He always loved eating and adored the variety, colour and taste of food, so it was something that gave him real enjoyment.
“Another highlight was celebrating Tobias’ birthday at the hospice, at a time when he was heavily into Paw Patrol.
“The team made an amazing cake for him, which he was over the moon with. It was a very special and appreciated gesture.
“There were so many other things that made a difference, like being able to enjoy home-cooked meals and having our laundry taken care of.
“Then, when the end came, we also received support with practical things like funeral arrangements, which helped enormously as neither of us had ever had to deal with the death of a family member.
“We didn’t know where to start, let alone at a time when emotions were running so high.”
The Kershaw family still receive support from EACH.
They attend bereavement groups, while Jared, now 17, and Caitlyn, 16, attend special sibling days at The Nook. Tobias, six, may join them one day.
“Caitlyn finds it particularly hard because she was so close in age to Rhys,” said Melanie, an early-morning cleaner at City College Norwich.
“She’s lost her partner in crime, and there are days when you can see she’s really struggling.
“It’s so hard, and we never stop talking about Rhys.
“He’s in our thoughts all the time and the smallest, most random things make me think of him. It might be something on television, or even something I’ll see in a shop. I saw a funny message on a mug not so long ago and found myself taking a picture of it, because it would have been perfect for Rhys.
“He was such a beautiful boy, from the moment he was born.
“He got away with murder and, in the nicest possible way, knew exactly how far he could push us. Trevor called him a master manipulator, and that’s about right.
“He was cheeky, loveable and funny but also clever, eloquent and knowledgeable. We could have proper conversations with him from the age of two.
“I still can’t believe everything that’s happened in the last four years.
“After Tobias was born, we felt our family was complete. Now that’s no longer the case. Someone is missing, and going home with one less person in the car was devastating. It left me feeling numb, and life will never be the same again.
“However, even though I find it incredibly hard, I love talking about Rhys. It’s important and helps keep his spirit alive, because he’ll always be a special part of our family.
“I also feel it’s vital to talk about the care and support we received from EACH, when we needed it most. Without it, life would have been unimaginable, and, for that, we’ll always be thankful.”
Published in March 2025
