A bereaved mum says she will be inspired by memories of her baby son when she flies the flag for East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices (EACH) at next month’s London Marathon.
Katy Martin is raising funds as a way of saying thank you for the care and support she and husband Chris received following the death of little Henry, in January 2022.
The couple’s first-born son died ten days after being born at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital.
Katy’s waters broke at 23 weeks, at which point she went to hospital and was told her cervix had opened. Henry was still a healthy baby at that point, and another ten days passed before full labour began at just over 24 weeks.
He was in the breech position, so had to be delivered via an emergency C-section.
Henry was rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, before starting to experience bleeds on the brain. Sadly, they never stopped.
“There was nothing anyone could do, and we knew we were going to lose him,” said Katy.
“Our families came to meet him at hospital, and we said our goodbyes.
“The next day, we were introduced to someone from EACH.
“They were amazing, helping straight away and explaining some of the options available to us, including being able to spend time together at The Nook.”
As a family, they transferred to EACH’s Norfolk hospice, spending three precious days together while being supported by the team there.
Using a special ‘cuddle cot’, Henry was able to stay with them, and, as part of memory-making activities, casts were taken of his hands and feet.
“They’re beyond precious,” said Katy, from Horsford.
“We treasure them, and it’s not something, at the time, we would have thought about ourselves.
“Spending time at the hospice helped us transition out of hospital, because I’d been there about a month in total.
“To go straight home and see our nursery and baby travel system, which had only just been delivered, would have been too hard and painful.
“Instead, those three days bridged the gap and helped massively.
“Words can’t express our gratitude, and it was the little things that made the biggest difference.
“For instance, when we left, we were given a hamper of food because the staff knew the last thing we’d want to do is trudge around a supermarket or think about what to eat.
“They stepped in so selflessly, and nothing was ever done in a forceful way.
“They went above and beyond. Their actions made us feel supported and restored my faith in humanity.
“It’s hard to appreciate the difference it makes until you find yourself in that position.
“Being able to walk around the hospice grounds, in a space and environment where we felt comfortable, allowed us to feel like a family.
“People may think it sounds weird, as though we were crazy and couldn’t let go, but it helped us come to terms with what had happened.
“I can’t imagine not having those days, and, although nothing could change the outcome, it would have felt very different otherwise.”
Three years on, Katy and Chris still feel a special connection to The Nook.
They visit for memory days and took daughter Eva, who is nearly two, to meet Father Christmas at last year’s Winter Wonderland event.
“You become part of a community you never wanted to be part of, but there’s such a strong, unshakeable bond with other families,” said Katy.
“We’ve all been through something horrific, but we’ve all been supported by EACH.
“I also feel it’s important for Eva to spend time at The Nook.
“I want it to feel normal for her, to help her understand, as well as being somewhere she feels a connection with her big brother. The Nook is one of the few places we feel close to both our children at once and can truly be together as a family.”
As a way of showing her thanks, Katy is lacing up her running shoes for next month’s London Marathon.
Once a regular parkrunner, she got back into it last year and says tackling a marathon is on her bucket list.
“After applying, I couldn’t believe it when I was selected to run for EACH,” said the 35-year-old, who is a project manager for an ice cream and desserts company.
“I didn’t have a reason to say no, but also had a very special reason for grabbing the opportunity with both hands.
“It’s going to be emotional, but my feelings and memories will spur me on.
“When the going gets tough, either physically, mentally or both, I’ll be thinking of Henry.
“It’s important to highlight baby loss, because I feel there’s something slightly taboo about it.
“People are getting better at talking, but I know many others find it too sad, uncomfortable and triggering to discuss.
“That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to share our story, as well as to help raise awareness of the incredible work EACH does.
“People may think of a children’s hospice as being full of sadness, but it’s actually a place of positivity.
“It’s a peaceful spot where I feel a connection to others, and the staff are among the kindest people I’ve ever met.
“They must encounter some incredibly sad situations, but they want to help and go above and beyond every single day.”
To show your support and sponsor Katy, head here.
